The Power of Story
The Key to the Philanthropic Partnership Journey.
The desire to be known and understood is widely considered a basic human need. To be fully seen—to feel that another person genuinely understands who we are and what has shaped us—builds trust and common ground in any meaningful relationship.
Asking a prospective donor to share their story is a simple and effective way to open a door and begin a conversation. Most people are flattered to be asked and welcome the opportunity to share their experiences and insights with someone who is authentically curious.
This is why coming to know each donor’s story is the first essential step in the Philanthropic Partnership Journey. Inviting a donor to share their story—quite simply, asking them to tell it—is one of the most natural and effective ways to begin an authentic relationship.
Story as an Invitation
Asking to hear a donor’s story is easy for a fundraiser to do—and just as easy for the donor to accept. When you invite someone to share their story, you are inviting them into a relationship, not a transaction. Stories have real power. After all, every nonprofit organization is ultimately the sum of the personal stories of its community and it is intrinsically valuable for your organization to hear these stories in order to learn more about itself.
In telling their story, donors often share deeply personal experiences: moments that shaped their values, clarified what matters most to them, or influenced how they see their role in the world. These moments offer invaluable insight into philanthropic motivation—not as a static preference, but as something formed over time.
This is the power of authentic curiosity. It is not a technique or a script. It is a posture of genuine interest that signals respect, attentiveness, and presence.
Understanding the Arc of Motivation
By starting with story, fundraisers remind themselves that donor motivation has a history. It did not begin with today’s meeting or this year’s campaign. It has a narrative arc shaped by experiences, relationships, and moments of meaning that often stretch back decades.
If your organization is a school, an obvious place to begin is how the alum first came to enroll and what that educational experience was like for them. If you represent another type of nonprofit, you might start by asking how the donor first became aware of—or personally connected to—that mission.
These early stories often reveal far more than surface-level interests. They illuminate identity, belonging, gratitude, and purpose.
Expanding the Conversation
As donors share more of their story, the fundraiser’s understanding deepens. This, in turn, makes it easier—and more natural—to explore other dimensions of their life: professional experiences, family influences, avocations, and hopes for how their philanthropy might contribute to a better world.
When curiosity is genuine, these conversations unfold organically. They do not feel intrusive or agenda-driven. Instead, they feel like what they are: two people learning whether—and how—they might walk together toward something meaningful.
From Insight to Partnership
In my coaching work with frontline fundraisers, we focus on cultivating this kind of curiosity and shaping questions that help fundraisers truly know and understand donors—so that donors themselves feel known and understood. This is where trust is built.
Story not only deepens relationship; it also provides vital insight into how a donor may want to engage. By listening for connections between a donor’s values, interests, and lived experiences—and an institution’s priorities—fundraisers are able to offer thoughtful suggestions for next steps.
Importantly, these steps are not prescribed. They are co-created with the donor as an equal partner.
Together, fundraiser and donor shape a path of engagement that feels meaningful, aligned, and authentic. Over time, fundraisers also develop their own language for translating engagement into potential difference-making philanthropic opportunities—grounded not in persuasion, but in shared understanding.
A Journey That Begins With Listening
The Philanthropic Partnership Journey begins not with an ask, but with attention. Not with a proposal, but with presence. Story is the doorway through which trust enters—and from which partnership becomes possible.
When fundraisers lead with curiosity and honor the power of story, they create relationships capable of sustaining generosity, advancing mission, and making philanthropy more rewarding for everyone involved. The goal is not simply to close a gift. The goal is to cultivate an informed philanthropic partner whose journey becomes increasingly aligned with your mission.
Programmatic Outcomes of This Approach Include:
Earlier, more natural gift conversations
Deeper donor insight
Sustainable portfolios
Ethical alignment between mission and method
Professional Impact for Fundraisers Includes:
Greater confidence
Less anxiety around donor conversations (including gift conversations)
Stronger professional identity
Greater sense of purpose
Reduced burnout
For Donors, This Experience Creates:
A deeper sense of being known and respected
Clearer understanding of their impact
More meaningful engagement
Greater trust in the institution
What might change if we began every donor relationship not with an ask in mind—but with a partnership in view?